26. A Few Kind Words with Tracey Willis Gates
“Every single person who shares a few kind words feels better about themselves when they do it.”
Is kindness overrated? We don’t think so. Maybe it is our age, maybe it is the world we currently live in – but it seems, if anything, that kindness is vastly underrated and something our society and communities could use more of.
Cue Tracey Willis Gates – self-proclaimed “kindness ambassador” and author of the book “The Power of A Few Kind Words: Create a More Meaningful Life, One Letter at a Time” which shows how important, how easy, and how meaningful kindness can be.
Gates’ book documents her transformational journey of writing a handwritten, unexpected letter of appreciation to a different person every day for one year. Tara and Tina both read Tracey’s book and feel this is a book everyone should read and can benefit from. We were so thrilled to speak with Tracey after reading her book and she does not disappoint.
Tracey is not advocating everyone imitate the impressive and daunting challenge she gave herself. Rather, she shows and shares through her journey the powerful impact of 1) being observant to the gifts and things we appreciate in the people we interact with and 2) the simple way that acknowledging these things through words can have.
We love her assertion that kindness is both a superpower AND a learned behavior. Our ability to be kind is strengthened and improved with practice - making kindness something we can all work on incorporating more intentionally into our daily life.
But this is just one part of Tracey’s story. There are so many positive and inspirational messages in her book. Tracey’s challenge to herself, which transformed her life in so many ways, occurred during her middlescence years and she is a prime example that it is never too late to find your purpose. She passionately advocates for all the good things that happen as you age. And she demonstrates that a small series of seemingly unrelated steps can often lead to a serendipitous journey with unexpected and fulfilling results.
As we move into the holiday and gift-giving season, we hope Tracey’s many messages will inspire you to take the time to make connections and be more present to those around you and to practice your own small acts of kindness. They are free. And as Tracey’s stories show – a powerful medicine for both the giver and the recipient.
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[[00:22] Tara Bansal: Hi, this is Tara Conti Bansal and I want to welcome you to season two of our podcast, Messy Middlescence. My sister Christina Conti Donovan and I are in the thick of midlife and trying to help ourselves and others to learn about and hopefully thrive in this unique phase of life.
[00:42] Like adolescence, middlesence is a time of tremendous change touching almost every aspects of our lives. There are the physical and hormonal changes, but also many of the rhythms, relationships and frameworks that have dominated our lives for decades all start to shift in various ways.
[01:02] Tina and I are figuring this out as we go and we hope you will join us as we dive into and discuss topics and ideas that will help all of us grow and understand this special midlife phase and how to live it better, more meaningfully and joyfully, one day at a time.
[01:22] Tara Bansal: Welcome. This is Tara Conti Bansel and I am here with my sister, Christina Conti Donovan. We are incredibly thrilled to have Tracy Willis Gates with us today. She is the author of a book called the Power of a Few Kind Words Create a More Meaningful Life One Letter at a time.
[01:48] I knew Tracy's husband for probably more than 10 years ago before I met Tracy. So in the financial planning world, Tom, her husband, is a mortgage broker and he has helped us, myself and clients and Brett Danko, who I worked with at Main Street Financial Solutions and think the world of he.
[02:16] I was meeting him for lunch and he was like, you have to talk to Tracy.
[02:22] And he made it happen. So he introduced Tracy and I via email and we got together for a coffee, actually a chai, which is part of the book. And I loved that because I didn't really know that how much she loved chai like I did before meeting and she was gracious and generous enough to come join Tina and I on the podcast today.
[02:50] And we, as I said, are just thrilled. So Tracy, as we start all most of our shows with an interview, please tell us your story in Brene Brown fashion. Like how she starts, like from the beginning.
[03:05] Where were you born? Your family, schooling?
[03:09] Anything that you would like to share?
[03:12] Tracey Gates: Well, first of all, thank you so much to both of you for inviting me to share time with you. I love your message and what you do and I love to share my story of kindness.
[03:23] So first of all, I grew up in Locust Valley, Long island with my sister Wendy, who just like you, is, you know, 16 months apart.
[03:35] And you know, I, I felt like probably early on in my, you know, late 20s, early 30s, I just had this sense that I hadn't yet done what I was put on this earth to do.
[03:46] And it was a really powerful feeling.
[03:49] But I.
[03:50] I sort of held onto that feeling for a long time. And I. I did different, different jobs.
[03:56] You know, I started in sales with Procter and Gamble because I got a job out of college. It wasn't like that was my dream.
[04:04] And then did various jobs, but I ended up doing the most important job to me. And I was a stay at home mom for 19 years.
[04:13] And then I went to work at Princeton Day School as a director of alumni. And I thought maybe that was my purpose. And I loved that job. But I still felt like there was something else in my life.
[04:22] But as I kept getting older and another decade passed, I thought, oh my gosh, maybe I've missed what it is that I'm meant to do on this earth. And then I suddenly found life and wellness coaching, and I became a certified life and health coach.
[04:39] And I thought for sure that I really felt like I had landed in what I was meant to do.
[04:46] And out of that yet grew something even further. And I know for certain that I have finally landed on my purpose. And.
[04:54] And that is that I.
[04:56] I challenged myself to write a handwritten, unexpected letter of appreciation to a different person every day for one year. And the reason was I was going through kind of a challenging work time.
[05:09] I was caring for my aging mother who lived in. And I was living now in Pennington, New Jersey. She was in Locust Valley, Long Island. And that drive is horrible.
[05:20] Two and a half to four hours each way. And I was driving there once or twice a week.
[05:26] And of course you turn on the news and it's depleting and draining. And I suddenly found myself developing an autoimmune disease. And I felt like that was stress induced. And I think that's how probably most of our ailments happen.
[05:45] And that's why I decided to just go on this crazy challenge of writing this letter a day, to just try and tip the scales back towards positivity in my life, reduce stress, bring in more calm in my life.
[05:56] And it was so transformational that now it is my passion project.
[06:03] I challenge people all over to just embrace the superpower of kindness. I've turned it into a workshop. I give all over the country, and I've written my book. And I'm just here to tell people, never give up on thinking that you haven't yet found your purpose.
[06:19] We're never too old to try something new.
[06:23] Tara Bansal: I love that I. I still feel like I'm trying to Find my purpose. So a couple of questions. When did you, how old were you when you went to the life coaching and the health and wellness?
[06:37] Tracey Gates: So I think I was 54. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, kind of late a later in life, career and, you know, when, when I, when I found that, I mean, I guess we've all known that's a, that's a career option, but I never considered it for me.
[06:55] And it was so exciting to feel like I was doing something that was completely in my sweet spot. I felt like I had been a life coach my whole life.
[07:05] I just never had a title for it. I never got paid for it.
[07:09] And it's really fun to take time to figure out what your strengths are, to ask other people what your gifts are, because so often we don't actually. Something that comes so naturally to us, we don't consider a gift, but it really is.
[07:24] And so I do feel like being invited into people's lives and hearing their stories and helping them become their best self is just such a joy for me. It doesn't feel like work, and it's really been incredibly nourishing to finally, at this point in my life, make it sort of an official career.
[07:50] Tara Bansal: Tell us more details of growing up, like with your family, where you went to school. What was school like for you then, having your own family?
[08:03] Christina Donovan: Sure.
[08:04] Tracey Gates: So I grew up with my, my one sister, but I, I am part of a blended family. My dad had been married before, and so I had three much older half, half siblings.
[08:15] And that was just sort of joyful for me because to me, I got to hang out with these people who were, you know, not didn't seem really like siblings, but didn't seem like my parents.
[08:24] And that was great.
[08:26] I, I went to the public school system in Locust Valley, Long island, and just, I felt like I had a very, very joyful childhood. I felt very blessed in many ways.
[08:40] I had parents who, you know, loved me. And yeah, I just, I enjoyed my childhood. I went to St. Lawrence University, and that was fantastic. And it was just such a thrill that our son ended up going there as well.
[09:00] But I never, I never really knew what my direction was. I think I did what kind of so many of us did when we were growing up, you know, just go through school and go to college, because that's what you were supposed to do.
[09:11] And I went to a liberal arts school and I never really, as I said, kind of had direction. I fell into what really was a very good job because Procter and Gamble came to interview on campus.
[09:24] And one of my good friends was a year older and had gotten a job with them the year before, and she shared with me all the interview questions.
[09:32] So I felt. I felt prepared and somehow made a great impression. Made an impression, I think. I guess maybe that's a form of cheating. But, hey, it worked.
[09:44] But, yeah. And then I met my incredible husband, Tom. And I do feel very, very blessed that I'm. We're married for 37 years. We have two children and two beautiful grandchildren, and we have another one who is due in 13 days.
[10:01] So if I suddenly get a call and have to leave because my daughter's in labor, that's why.
[10:06] Tara Bansal: Yeah, I mean, I had my first one early, so I was, like, appreciative that you're willing to schedule this so quickly. And every day I'm like, I hope her daughter doesn't go into labor.
[10:21] Tracey Gates: I know. I think we're safe for right now. Yes.
[10:24] Tara Bansal: I think so.
[10:25] Tracey Gates: Yeah.
[10:26] Tara Bansal: But so exciting.
[10:29] Tracey Gates: But I guess I should add that I did have. I mean, during this journey where I'm saying everything was so fabulous, my dad died unexpectedly when I was 24, and that really sort of changed the trajectory of my life in some ways.
[10:46] And he is the reason that I ended up going on this journey called A Few Kind Words of Writing Letters. And the reason I wrote my book.
[10:57] And I don't know if I should go into more of that now or if you have some questions.
[11:03] Tara Bansal: First off, just both Tina and I loved the book and feel like everyone in the world should read it, so.
[11:12] Tracey Gates: Well, thank you. That would be nice.
[11:14] Tara Bansal: And for multiple reasons. One, just how inspirational it is.
[11:22] I feel like. And I have to tell you, like, I think you're a beautiful writer and I loved what you shared about yourself and your life. I mean, I feel like we did get to know you through reading this book.
[11:36] It's not just about writing a letter every day. We got to know, I don't know, just a lot of stories from your family. What's important to you?
[11:50] And like, one of my new, I think favorite question is, like, from the Jeopardy. Your quirky thing of how you and your husband switched sides of the bed every night.
[12:01] Like, I'm going to remember that forever.
[12:05] Tracey Gates: And I'm trying to come up with, no, I've never found another person who does that. And.
[12:11] And you're the first person who's asked me about it. I thought maybe more people would reference that in the book because it's so unusual. But, you know, I will say that started because in our Very first apartment when we were married, because way back in the day, we didn't live together beforehand.
[12:27] Our bedroom was so small that the bed was pushed against the wall.
[12:31] And we didn't think it was fair that the inside person would have to climb over the other person to get out of bed if you have to get up in the middle of the night.
[12:39] So we just started switching sides of the bed. And I kid you not, we have done it every single night for 37 years. Whether we go to hotels, whether we're in different people's houses, we switch the sides of the bed.
[12:52] But now that the memory is not quite what it used to be, I have. We have different pillowcases. So when we make the bed in the morning, I switch the pillowcases so I can remember which side of the bed to get on.
[13:04] Tara Bansal: But I also think that's a testament to who both of you are, was that you wanted it to, like, nobody to be inconvenienced and for both of you to feel fair.
[13:15] And, you know, like, I just love.
[13:17] Tracey Gates: That that's a big part of relationships, certainly for our relationship, is that I do think we take. We take the time to.
[13:27] To talk things out, to communicate, to be partners.
[13:31] And I guess that was a very early sign that maybe we were off to a good start.
[13:36] Tara Bansal: Yeah, I agree. Let me. I'd love to hear just the story of coming up with the idea for the book. Like in the book, you talk about you were on a plane and you got this idea.
[13:50] I'd love to hear more.
[13:53] Or you tell this story to share with our listeners around the idea for the book.
[14:01] I'd love to know.
[14:03] Well, let's start there. How about you tell the story of coming up with the idea for A Few Kind Words?
[14:11] Tracey Gates: Sure. So I think I have to go back to way back in time, really, to just talk about the origin of the title, A Few Kind Words.
[14:21] And that was because I came from my dad. My dad was just my hero. I was just so lucky to have a dad who was so loving. He never had a negative word to say.
[14:33] He grew up in this home of women. And, you know, maybe we were judgmental, sometimes a little gossipy, but he certainly never participated. And he was just fantastic. But he had this one incredibly annoying habit.
[14:47] And that was every time he was asked by a family member, extended family, what he would like for his birthday or for Christmas, he would say the same thing every time.
[14:56] All I want is a few kind Words. And we hated that because, you know, how do you wrap that up. How do you put that under the Christmas tree?
[15:05] So we would just sort of brush it off and we, you know, get him a tie or some argyle socks or. One year, we actually got him a puppy, a real life puppy.
[15:14] But it really.
[15:16] We didn't really ever embrace what he was asking for. And then fast forward. I'm 24 years old, and Tom and I are together early one morning in my apartment, and the phone rings.
[15:28] And Tom went to answer it, and I said, do not answer that phone. That could be my mother and you are not supposed to be here. And I pick up the phone and I hear my mother's voice, and she says, tracy.
[15:39] And I can remember literally, like, covering the phone and looking at Tom and laughing, like, crisis averted.
[15:45] And she said, honey, Daddy died.
[15:49] And it was just. It was. It was the most crushing moment of my life to date. Um, I fell to the floor screaming. And, you know, my dad had a heart attack on the tennis court in his regular Saturday morning game.
[16:03] And. And I can remember thinking at that time I would never get to give him a few kind words. And, oh, I may have forgotten to say my. Tom and I were engaged for four weeks at that time.
[16:14] And I thought, he is never going to get to walk me down the aisle. And it was a really profound time in my life. And it wasn't until 30 years later, when I became a life and wellness coach, that I was really able to understand that my dad and I had the same love language, these words of affirmation, that that's how he felt.
[16:36] Loved was to just receive a few kind words.
[16:39] And so I started to have my clients write an unexpected letter of appreciation to somebody just to get them out of their head, you know, their own head, and to think about what they appreciated about somebody else and to sort of experience the power of gratitude.
[16:54] And I saw how impactful that was for people.
[16:57] And. And so then it was, you know, to go back to what I said earlier when I found myself having this sort of difficult time in my life where I just felt like I needed to be replenished.
[17:08] I just decided that. That I would invite my dad along and I would call this journey a few kind words. And I would write a letter a day for a year just for myself.
[17:17] This was not, you know, a journey for anybody else, but I wanted to see what. What it would feel like to. To start what I call an intentional kindness practice and.
[17:28] And very deliberately go about my day looking for things that I appreciated about people.
[17:35] And, you know, some days I sort of talk to my dad. And I'd say like, okay, who are we going to write to today? And, and I called it a few kind words.
[17:42] And, and it was just, it brought my dad back to life for me. I mean it was 33 years after he passed away and, and I just found myself so nourished by this practice.
[17:54] And then my, my last letter, I, I knew when I started who the first letter was going to be to and who the last letter was going to be to, but I didn't know anybody, you know, the 363 in the middle, I didn't know.
[18:06] And the first letter was going to be to our brand new grandson Hudson. And our last letter was going to be to my father.
[18:12] And it was a really transformational experience in my life.
[18:19] Christina Donovan: Speaking of your father, listeners can't see it, but I see the picture you have of him right behind you on the screen.
[18:28] Do you know where your father came up with those, that phrase, few kind words? Was it something somebody said to him or.
[18:38] Tracey Gates: Wow, I love that question. I have never been asked it and I have never thought about the answer to that question. I have no idea. It was to us. It came from him.
[18:49] I don't know whether he ever heard it, you know, from somebody else before, but no, I don't know the origin. I think that's just know an authentic response. He didn't care about gifts, he just cared about, you know, hearing a few kind words.
[19:08] And he was, and he was, he was not a man of a lot of words himself, but he was, he would show me his love. He, you know, would give these incredible bear hugs and he would always tell me he loved me.
[19:23] And he was an incredible listener and yeah, I guess that was just his love language. And if you haven't read the book the five Love Languages, please do because I think that's an incredible book.
[19:35] Tara Bansal: Do you feel like. Oh, go ahead.
[19:37] Christina Donovan: Well, I guess just also following up with your father, I know throughout the book you say how much he said it, you know, to your immediate family. Did you hear him say it to other people or was it something that he mostly expressed with your, with your mother and your sister?
[19:58] Tracey Gates: He expressed it with what I call my extended family, which is my half brothers and sisters and their, and my sister and my mom.
[20:08] So I know I didn't, I guess I didn't hear him say that to other people, but to sort of our immediate blended family, it was just a regular, I mean, so much so that my half brother and my sister titled their, their eulogy at his Service, a few kind words.
[20:27] And, you know, it was just something that, that we, we sort of laughed about, you know, at, at the time, like, oh, there goes dad again. That's all he wants.
[20:35] And, and their eulogy, they. They listed words that were, you know, that he loved, know, family, pretzels, dogs, tennis, golf, vodka.
[20:47] You know, and even then we weren't getting it. You know, that was, that was a. I mean, they gave a beautiful eulogy. I don't want to dismiss that, but I just don't think that we really embraced that.
[20:59] He cared about hearing what made him special. He wanted to be seen. He wanted to feel like he mattered. And I think that's really, that's the gist of my book is to.
[21:13] My mission in life is to help people everywhere know they matter. And I really believe that was what my dad was asking for.
[21:20] Tara Bansal: How long did it take you or when during this journey, do you feel like you fully comprehended what your dad meant by those words instead of just, you know, being annoyed by it?
[21:36] Tracey Gates: Well, I, as I evolved from after he passed away when I was 24 and over the, over the decades and I became a mom, and I mean a wife and a mom, and I just, I sort of grew into, I think, my own self awareness when I became a life and wellness coach, that's really when I understood this love language that my dad had and equated it, that it was the same my love language as well.
[22:06] So it really, it was kind of like an aha moment when I became a life and wellness coach that I realized the power of our words.
[22:18] And to me it's all about relationships. And I think going back, that's what my dad was looking for was, you know, he was able to connect with people because he was a good listener and he was very present.
[22:29] And. And so it, it was really in my 50s that I started to understand what a valuable lesson he was offering us. And. And then I just decided that that's how I want to live the rest of my life is being part of, to me, what moves humanity forward and helping people to be seen and sharing a few kind words with them.
[22:52] Because I realized I like myself better when I do that.
[22:55] Tara Bansal: And I love your being ambassador of kindness. Like I've taken that on and how beautiful that is from when you got the idea for this challenge. I view it as a challenge of writing one letter.
[23:09] It was a jelly on the plane till when you actually started it.
[23:16] How long was that?
[23:20] Tracey Gates: So that was three weeks.
[23:24] Tara Bansal: Okay.
[23:24] Tracey Gates: So we were. I was on the Plane flying to Portland, Oregon with Tom to meet little Hudson, our brand new grandson.
[23:31] And well, he was born on January 9 and we met him 10 days later. So I guess I had this idea on the plane on January 19th and my first letter was on February 9th.
[23:43] Tara Bansal: And during those three weeks, was there debate or what happened during those three weeks?
[23:50] Tracey Gates: So there was total fear. There was sort of the typical. Like on the plane, I felt like it was this just incredible clarity, this aha moment. I mean, I truly was.
[24:00] I had my head back on the seat, my eyes closed, and I was just, I was thinking about the. My new grandson, our new grandson. I was thinking about my dad and just, you know, sort of the legacy that he created and that he didn't know that he was a great grandfather again.
[24:17] And. And so I just was telling him, I mean, maybe he knew, I hope he knew that I was sort of having this conversation with my dad and, and half sad and half joyful, you know, that he couldn't meet Hudson.
[24:30] And then I honestly, it was just maybe because we were in the clouds, but it was this, just this idea came over me that I'm going to write a letter a day for a year and I'm going to call it A Few Pine Words and I.
[24:43] It, you know, it's one of those. I don't overthink it. It's just a random idea that came to my head. And so then I, you know, I tapped Tom on the shoulder and I moved his big Bose headphone aside and I said, I'm going to, you know, this is what I'm going to do.
[24:55] And you know, he was watching Curb youb Enthusiasm and I don't know if you know that show, but I can't handle it. It makes me so stressed out.
[25:02] You sound like me. Yeah, I mean, it's like, seriously, it's his favorite show and I cannot watch it. And he's like guffawing on, you know, in the seat next to me and I'm having this life defining, you know, moment and I felt like I had to share it with somebody.
[25:17] I had to say the words out loud. I'm going to challenge myself to do this for a whole year. And he looked at me, he feigned interest and it's like, that's great, honey, well done.
[25:28] And went back to watching his show. And then I started to think about a list in my head of who I would write to and I was all excited about it.
[25:37] And then of course we get to Portland and we focus on our grandchildren. And then I Sort of hide behind this, you know. Oh, well, that's, that was such a great idea, but, oh, I can't really do that, you know, that's too hard.
[25:47] Or, oh my gosh, I don't know. But because I had said it out loud to Tom, I just felt like I had failed in the past at goal setting. I'm not a goal setter.
[25:58] And I just, I was sort of having this debate for three weeks, like, could I do this or not? Like, no one really would. I mean, Tom's not barely remembered probably that I said it.
[26:08] You know, I could, I could cop out of this again. And I just thought it was time. I, I felt really strongly that it was, that this would be such a, a beautiful way to immerse myself in positivity that I just, I didn't want to take it back.
[26:25] So on February 9, which there was nothing special about that day, I just said, sit down and write, you know, and I wrote to our grandson who.
[26:33] Tara Bansal: You know, you had just seen and I'm sure.
[26:38] Tracey Gates: And then from there I didn't miss a day. And it was, what came out of it was exponentially so much more than what I thought going in.
[26:51] Tara Bansal: I have a couple. Like, how long did most of the letters take you to write?
[26:58] Tracey Gates: So here's the beauty of this project and I, you know, encourage your, your audience to, to really think about starting to write letters like this. I know writing a letter a day is, is insane.
[27:10] I mean, for a year. So forget that, Just try to write one of them and just see how you feel. And I would say that I wrote on 4 by 6 inch folded over note cards and most of them I wrote on the top and the bottom of it.
[27:23] And honestly, they could take me, I would say, between five and 10 minutes.
[27:29] Tara Bansal: You know, but there's maybe, yeah, 15 minutes.
[27:33] Tracey Gates: Yeah, I mean, it just doesn't take long. I mean, I, I, I say this all the time. It can be on a post it note, it can be on the back of a receipt, it can be on your, you know, Crane's letterhead, your monogram, stationary.
[27:46] It just doesn't matter. It's. If you have a thought, share it. Because we just don't know what people are going through in this world. You know, we walk around with what I call fine face.
[27:56] You know, everything's fine. And we really don't know what most of the time what people are experiencing and what our kind thought could be, could be the gift that could fill a void in someone's life and be exactly what they need at that moment.
[28:11] And, you know, never think that somebody already knows how I feel because it's, it is the gift that keeps on giving. You know, we all love to hear beautiful, kind thoughts about ourselves.
[28:22] So, you know, I do think this is not your five paragraph essay. You know, just, just write, you know. You know, you crossed my mind today, and I want you to know I just appreciate what an incredible listener you are.
[28:36] Or, you know, you just exude warmth all the time. And I've never told you that. And I just want you to know that, you know, and I always sign for me.
[28:44] I signed with gratitude and appreciation, Tracy. I mean, that's all you need to say. And, but here's a key point that I think is important is the unexpectedness of these letters.
[28:56] They're never around a holiday or a birthday.
[28:59] You know, to have somebody be able to go to their mailbox and just randomly get a letter that says, hey, I think you're pretty terrific. And I want you to know that that's where the magic lies.
[29:11] That's what made this such a beautiful experience for the recipient. But the most important point of writing these letters is that you're writing it for yourself.
[29:22] It brings you into the present moment, which, by the way, if you haven't spent any time there, is quite a lovely place.
[29:30] It reduces your stress, it calms you, and you're filling yourself with the positive attributes of somebody else. And that feel good feeling lingers. And it makes me approach my day in a better way.
[29:43] And so never have any expectation to hear back from your letter recipient. You're writing it because authentically you have something that you want to share with another fellow human being and just send it off with the knowledge that for a few moments at least, or a lot longer, you feel better about who you are.
[30:03] And the hope is that you've made another person, you know, brought a smile to their face.
[30:09] Tara Bansal: Did it help with your autoimmune?
[30:13] Tracey Gates: So it did.
[30:15] At the same time, I will say I did go on prednisone, which is kind of a miracle drug.
[30:22] So I can't say that this cured me. However, what it did for my mental state was incredible. And I do believe that you have to any healing needs to tap into emotional, physical, spiritual, all of that.
[30:38] And when you. My stress level was drastically reduced. And what happens is you're reducing that stress cortisol response, you know, that fight or flight, that horrible sort of roller coaster that we can go on, you know, and, and when, when that cortisol level kind of evens out, your body is much more capable of healing.
[31:01] So I do believe that it was a combination of obviously going on that medication. But I know that I mentally and physically felt so much better through this practice and I just recommend it to everybody.
[31:16] It is a joyful, nourishing, empowering experience to spend time sharing appreciations with those around you.
[31:25] Christina Donovan: I loved hearing about the process of you writing these letters.
[31:32] And forgive me for asking this, but just I am curious. Did you ever write a letter at 11:50pm?
[31:39] Tracey Gates: Like, absolutely, yes. Yes. I'm glad you asked that because there were a few days I can remember right now as like a ptsd, PTSD response. I was in that, like, oh, you know, you're half asleep, you're in that twilighty thing, and I'm all snuggled up next to Tom and, and I go, oh my God, I didn't write my letter and like, jump out of bed with the start and, you know, grab my slippers and go back into the kitchen and sit at the kitchen counter and write my letter.
[32:11] And that didn't happen too many times, but absolutely I had that experience and, and I really was committed to this. I'm writing it every day. I mean, I wrote on Christmas, I wrote on my birthday.
[32:23] I, you know, I just.
[32:25] Christina Donovan: And none of that.
[32:26] Tara Bansal: I'll do two letters tomorrow or the negotiation like that. I love that you are so committed.
[32:33] Tracey Gates: And so disciplined to it because I, to this point, I really wasn't a goal setter and I, I need to prove something to myself that I could do this. And I gotta say, it feels pretty good to check something off your, you know, your bucket list and writing the book.
[32:51] I mean, I've wanted to write a book since I was, you know, in my early 30s. That was just sort of an idea in the back of my head.
[33:00] But I had a couple of very major problems to overcome. I wasn't a writer. I had no topic in mind, so I couldn't figure out why. I had this kind of lingering subconscious thought that someday I'd love to write a book.
[33:16] And I never believed I would do it. I just, I never did until I finally had a topic.
[33:23] Christina Donovan: When in the process did you realize that this could become a book?
[33:27] Tracey Gates: So it wasn't until really late in the process. And again, this is something that I think is very relatable to, to your audience.
[33:40] I would say after a few months into this process, it would, you know, I would, I would share with people whenever it was appropriate. It would come up in conversation that I was writing a letter, a Day for a year.
[33:52] And I started to hear people say, oh, my gosh, that's so interesting. You should write a book about that. I mean, those exact words. And for months, I would. I would hear those words.
[34:04] I would say, oh, thank you, you know, and I would. It would just bounce right off of me. I would brush it off. I did not absorb those words.
[34:14] I just. I don't know why. I. It just something. I didn't. I didn't retain them. And it wasn't until probably the last month of writing, writing letters, and somebody again said, wow, you should write a book about that.
[34:28] And I can remember it was like a deer in headlights. I went, oh, my gosh, I actually have a topic. You know, I. I have something that could possibly be worthy of a book.
[34:41] And then fear set in. Like, wait a minute, I've been able to hide for decades behind the fact that, oh, I don't have a topic, so I can't write the book.
[34:49] And then I. I had the topic.
[34:52] And so it took me.
[34:55] It took me two. Two years. No, a year. A year.
[35:00] About a year after I finished writing the letters of just saying, like, having that in the back of my mind, like, oh, my gosh, should I try to write the book?
[35:11] And then, oh, no, I don't know how to write a book. Who am I to write a book?
[35:15] And then the process evolved.
[35:19] I think everybody who is a coach should have their own coach. You know, you hear this. Everyone who's a therapist should have therapists. So many years after becoming a life and wellness coach, I actually hired my own life coach.
[35:33] And she's this amazing woman, Alexandra Dobner, who is in Vienna, Austria, of all places. And I. I happened to listen to a webinar, a free webinar that she gave. And anyway, I just felt called to.
[35:47] I just was connected to this woman, and I felt called to reach out to her. And anyway, she became my life coach, and we worked together for a year. You had to commit to a year.
[35:57] And for most of that time, it was about how to move my business, my A Few Kind Words workshops, how to move that forward, how to market myself, which I'm a terrible marketer.
[36:08] And that was what we kept talking about. And then one day, three quarters of the way into working with her, I just felt I was low energy. And I was like, God, I just.
[36:19] The idea of talking about social media is so against everything about me. You know, here I'm trying to write handwritten letters. Like this whole marketing thing, I hate it.
[36:28] And she said, well, what do you want to do? And I said, I just want to write a book. And it just, like, came out of me. And then she stopped and.
[36:35] And she said, tell me more about that. And I just started to talk about it. And she just said, do you realize that your entire countenance changed? Your whole energy changed?
[36:44] She said, so why don't you write a book?
[36:46] And I just froze.
[36:48] And then I said, I'm going to write a book. And she said, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. And I turned around, and I was in my daughter's bedroom, and I was.
[36:58] She has a desk there, and nobody. Nobody was home. And I turned around and I jumped on my daughter's bed, and I started jumping up and down, and I said, I'm gonna write a book.
[37:09] And I just started crying. I start. It was just. I know it sounds insane. I actually haven't shared that story before, but it was just like, suddenly I was ready, and it was just.
[37:20] It was so empowering to me. And.
[37:23] And I said, I'm right there. I said, I'm. This was in June. I said, I'm going to be 59 in on August 4th, and I'm going to make a commitment to have written this book by my 60th birthday on August 4th.
[37:37] And then for the next two months, between June and August of my 59th birthday, I started to get all fearful again. And I told our daughter, but I didn't tell anybody else.
[37:46] And then on my 59th birthday, I ordered a Cosmopolitan. We were out of a restaurant with my husband, and I never drink Cosmopolitans. And I felt very, like, you know, grown up.
[37:57] And I looked my husband in the eye and I said, I just want you to know that I'm saying out loud that a year from today, I'm going to have written a book.
[38:05] And he looked at me and he said, that's fantastic. And we toasted. And I know he didn't believe me, but he didn't say that.
[38:15] And I wrote my book the next year.
[38:19] Yeah, it was really empowering.
[38:23] Tara Bansal: I mean, part of this is with seeing the end product and hearing your stories. But I have to say, what stands out to me is, like, the serendipity of, like, almost if it was, like, so meant to be and almost like the little steps along the way, like you just started writing them for you, and just how it evolved.
[38:53] I just love it because.
[38:57] And even the fact that you were so disciplined because you wanted to accomplish a goal, like, then you showed yourself you could do it, and then like, that carried over into the book and how not until you were ready to really accept it could you hear it from other people, even though you had heard it for a while.
[39:20] I'm not expressing it well, but just like.
[39:23] Tracey Gates: No, I get what you mean, and I think that that's a really important point, and I think it really settles into the meat of what you and Tina do with this beautiful podcast, because I think there's something incredibly beautiful about this aging process, you know, and now I'm 62, and I know.
[39:46] I think middle essence, you said, is 45 to 65 or something like that.
[39:51] Tara Bansal: Yeah, we're kind of giving up on the actual ages, because I think it's more where you are in your phase of life instead of basing it on an age.
[40:04] Tracey Gates: So I think that we evolve. And I wasn't ready in my 30s and 40s to write this book, I guess. And that feeling that I had, that I never shared with anybody but I had back in my early 30s, that I haven't done what I'm put on this earth to do, it really was a gift that I held in my heart, um, for so long.
[40:26] And I kept thinking, oh, I can't wait to. To. Till I'm shown what that is. Oh, I wonder what it is. And then I kept getting older and thinking, you know, oh, I must have missed it.
[40:34] That must have just been some weird, you know, passing thought I had. But I think it was really true. I think we have to. Many people find it earlier in life, but I think we evolve, and it is.
[40:47] We need to. We need to get to the point where we can put fear aside and we can acknowledge our gifts, and we can think about what makes us feel alive, what is, what's.
[40:59] What's nourishing to us. And then we need to just. Whatever it is, it's worthy. It's. You know, it's enough, and it doesn't matter. You know, we can put aside the judgment.
[41:09] I mean, right. Isn't judgment what holds us back so much of the time? Fear of failure, fear of judgment.
[41:14] And that's why I think, you know, turning 50 was actually liberating and turning 60 was freaking awesome. I mean, I really mean that because I feel.
[41:26] I feel better about who I am now. I just think we can. When we embrace just ourselves for who we are, it's so liberating. So you girls have something to look forward to.
[41:42] Tara Bansal: Thank you.
[41:44] I want to. Something that stood out for me in the book and is how often you listen to your intuition, like, where you read the letter, you know, to your father.
[41:59] Like you originally thought you were going to read it in one place, but you paid attention and listened to yourself and to me, that's something that stood out of. Just like you were so open to sometimes following these crazy ideas of, like, what was really right for you and what helped you find your purpose and meaning.
[42:24] Tracey Gates: Yeah, thank you. I didn't. I actually haven't really thought about that before. And I think we do have intuition, we do have gut feelings, and I don't think I allowed myself to pay attention to them until I was much older.
[42:42] You know, I grew up with.
[42:45] As much as my dad was so warm and loving, I grew up with a mother who was.
[42:51] And I love, loved her dearly, but she was very judgmental and concerned with appearances and doing the right thing. And.
[43:01] And so I was always felt like I just had to sort of follow the straight and narrow and do what was expected.
[43:08] And so I talk about in the book that I sort of had this suit of armor on me that I wore for a long time, I think, just never really taking the time to find out who I really was.
[43:22] And I mean, I liked who I was all along, but I didn't really do a deep dive until, you know, I was in my 50s. And it was so liberating to take off that suit of armor and just start to pay attention to who, Who I am and what's important to me and, and not be so afraid.
[43:41] And when I say afraid, I, I don't think anybody who know me would. Would say that I lived my life like I was afraid. But I think we. I, I just think so many of us are, when we are in our 20s and 30s and 40s and, and maybe not so much in our 50s, but we just.
[44:01] I don't know, it's just so liberating to be older. If only we could have the wisdom that we, you know, have when we're older, when we have it younger.
[44:10] So I'm kind of rambling, but.
[44:12] Tara Bansal: No, but that's part of why we're doing this podcast and encouraging, I feel like encouraging the courage to listen to yourself and follow your dream.
[44:26] Christina Donovan: Not be afraid to fail.
[44:27] Tara Bansal: Yeah, not be afraid to fail.
[44:30] Tracey Gates: Absolutely.
[44:31] Christina Donovan: I mean, there's so many powerful messages in your book, but one of the things that really stood out to me was how you talk about kindness, among some other things, like gratitude are learned behaviors.
[44:45] Is that something you felt going into this process or was that something you sort of learned as you were doing your letters?
[44:55] Tracey Gates: So I Think my natural inclination is one towards sharing appreciations and kindness.
[45:05] However, it became very apparent to me early on that we can all get better at this, that it is a learned behavior. I mean, some for me, sharing appreciations came naturally.
[45:19] But what I learned, particularly when I started giving workshops around this, is how unintuitive it is for a lot of people.
[45:26] However, I think everybody can learn this. And, you know, I had many people say to me, well, how do you start these letters? Like, it's so awkward, Or, I don't want to get vulnerable.
[45:37] You know, I can't imagine writing a letter randomly to somebody just to say, hey, I think you're terrific.
[45:44] And so that. That was a reset for me to realize that while that might come easily to me, it doesn't come easily for a lot of people. And when I walk them through the sort of how you can open yourself up to this and you have to be willing to get a little uncomfortable.
[46:00] And that's when you. When you learn and grow, is when you're willing to step into your discomfort. But I think that that every single person who shares a few kind words feels better about themselves when they do it.
[46:16] So I do think that I've grown into understanding.
[46:21] That's sort of my whole mission is to teach people that they have a superpower and they need to unveil it and be willing. And I tell people, if you're not comfortable writing, if you're not comfortable kind of getting vulnerable, the write to somebody who you don't know well but you.
[46:38] But you have an appreciation for. So for me, it's the woman who made me the best chai latte that I've ever had. You know, it's the woman who ran the jury room at the Mercer county courthouse who made me feel so welcomed.
[46:50] It can be, you know, the crossing guard at your kid's school. It can be your dry cleaner, you know, and just say, you know, just drop them a note and say, hey, you know, your smile that you greet me with every time I come into your store makes me feel better than when I, you know, than when I arrived or, you know, do something like that where you're not having to overthink it and you're not really getting vulnerable and just see how it feels.
[47:17] Tara Bansal: Yeah. For me, having read the book, like, the past few days, I have my antenna out of like, oh, I could. This is someone I could write a letter of appreciation to.
[47:30] And.
[47:31] And one even that feels good of noticing.
[47:35] Tracey Gates: Yes.
[47:35] Tara Bansal: But I'm calling myself out. It's the Next step of actually putting pen to paper and doing it. That feels more intimidating than I would like to admit. But. Well, I love that I'm just even starting to think about it and noticing.
[47:53] Tracey Gates: The people, you know, that's step number one. So continue to do that. You know, I love. So noticing is the first thing. It's like, you know, I say stop scrolling and start strolling.
[48:05] You know, leave your phone in the car when you go into a store and make eye contact with, you know, the clerk or somebody and just ask an open ended question or my other favorite word that maybe I'll write a book someday called linger.
[48:21] I just think, you know, when you leave a meeting or a lunch with your friends or something, linger just a little bit longer and just ask how they're doing or ask a question and, and I just think you'll start to.
[48:36] It's an amazing practice, isn't it? Once you start to challenge yourself to find something to appreciate about somebody, you start to find it. We're just not in that mindset most of the time.
[48:47] So I would say start to notice and start to think about, huh. I really do appreciate this about my friend or my sister or another sibling.
[48:57] And then when you're ready, just write a note to somebody. Honestly, it can be two or three sentences, you know, don't overthink it and then send it off or, you know, leave it.
[49:08] You know, I leave a note, a sticky note on the chocolate peanut butter ice cream in the freezer that's my husband's favorite ice cream. Or leave a note on your kid's pillow.
[49:18] You know, it just, it's, it doesn't have to be a big deal, but do something that feels safe to you to try it. And then I always, you know, have a challenge when I give workshops to say, do this for seven days.
[49:33] Try to write a letter a day for seven days. Because I think that if you can do the first day and get over a little bit of the fear or the second day by, by seven days you'll realize, oh, this is a beautiful practice and you know, you don't have to do it every day, but what an amazing thing to do with your family around the dinner table.
[49:53] You know, if you still have kids at home where you say, okay, well who did you write to today and how'd that feel? Why did you write to them? I bet you your energy level around the dinner table gets raised and it provides, you know, something really positive to talk about.
[50:07] Christina Donovan: Yeah, I mean, that was something in your book that really spoke to Me was the whole chapter on, you know, being creative with this.
[50:17] I know my daughter received a letter from someone who, when she turned 75, wrote to the most. The 75 most important people in her life. She did it over a year.
[50:29] And I almost wonder if she was inspired by you. I don't know the woman very well. I could probably ask my daughter. She probably knows more. But I thought, what a great gift to yourself, you know, to take the time and think about the number of people.
[50:48] I mean, she turned 75, so that's why she picked that number.
[50:52] Tracey Gates: But.
[50:53] Christina Donovan: And it took her a year to do it. She did it, you know, over a year. My daughter was like, 72 or something.
[51:00] Tara Bansal: She was.
[51:01] Christina Donovan: She had recently met, you know, like, they were recently working together. But, yeah, this idea that it doesn't have to be every day or it doesn't have to. It doesn't have to be so rigid in terms of the.
[51:15] Tracey Gates: Absolutely. I mean, there are a handful of people I know who have read my book who are doing this, doing it for a year. But honestly, that's not my intent. My intent is to just to get people sharing appreciations.
[51:29] Because this world is just fractured. And, you know, we need kindness. We need more kindness in our world. And everybody has the ability to slow down, to notice one another, and to just to meet people where they are and to say, I see you, you know, And I think that we can make a difference in this world.
[51:49] To me, I say one letter at a time, but it's one conversation at a time. You know, it's about our relationships. Because if we don't. If we're not in relationship with one another, then what do we have?
[52:01] You know, And I think it starts with ourselves. You know, in my kindness workshops, I always ask this question, where should kindness begin?
[52:09] And, well, I'll ask the two. Well, you've read the book where should kindness Begin, Ladies?
[52:15] Tara Bansal: With yourself. And I love that you wrote a letter to yourself like, that's part of this also. I think it's so beautiful.
[52:23] Tracey Gates: That's not an easy letter to write. So I wouldn't start with that one. Although my wealth you're welcome to.
[52:30] But, you know, it's something that I. That I pull out every now and then, and I remind myself that, you know, okay, I am worthy. You know, it's. If you're having a bad day, it's a nice thing to see.
[52:42] But I think it's really our world needs this. And for me, you know, as I say many times, I like who I am being I like myself better when I do this.
[52:55] I feel like I am living the way that we're supposed to live, which is to treat each other with respect and kindness.
[53:03] And, you know, you don't know what your one letter, the impact that it could have on somebody, and maybe it'll inspire them to pass on that kindness. And, you know, just recently, I've left a couple of flower arrangements with a note to a stranger on a.
[53:21] On a park bench in Palmer Square. And, you know, just a letter for whoever happens to find it. And, you know, I just think there's just ways that we all can contribute to making our world a kinder place.
[53:38] Tara Bansal: And I truly believe we all need that right now. I just.
[53:43] Both Tita and I were saying that before we got on the call how important this practice and kindness is and needed. I mean, and even doing what you did with the flowers on a park bench, that is pure, like, just putting it out there.
[54:02] There's no. You're not going to ever hear back because you don't know who got it and. Right. I just. It's like living anonymously. But you're doing it for yourself.
[54:12] Tracey Gates: I'm doing it for me. And then the hopes that obviously it. It helps somebody else makes a difference. Yeah. You know, we have a choice every day, and that choice is to, you know, move humanity forward or to be part of the, you know, the yuck.
[54:27] And. And that's, you know, and we fall down a lot. Like, it's okay to have a bad day, but I think it's. It's really empowering to know that we do always have a choice to reframe how we might see the world or how we might, you know, reframe a conversation that didn't go well with somebody or, you know, I think most of the time, we're all doing the best we can with what we have.
[54:51] And I think if we approach relationships that way, it's just. It feels better.
[55:01] Tara Bansal: I agree. What have you learned from the workshops now that you've done it with multiple people? I would love to hear.
[55:10] Tracey Gates: Well, you know, I think it's a validation for me every time that I do it. And this might sound funny, but I can feel that the energy in the room is much higher at the end of the workshop than in the beginning.
[55:27] And it's. Because when we take the time to make kindness important, to be a conversation, and we talk about how we can.
[55:38] We can be proactive, that's really what my workshop is about, is it's an intentional kindness practice where we have to choose to be proactive. And it's not always easy and it's not always convenient, but it's always impactful.
[55:50] And I think I give people a very tangible way that they can walk out of this room or this zoom call, whatever, and make their day better and make somebody else's day better.
[56:04] And I think sometimes we feel lost. We feel like we don't know how to.
[56:10] How to make this world or our immediate world better. And while this might sound so simple, like, oh, you're just write a note of appreciation. You know, when's the last time you went to your mailbox and you opened it up and you found one of those?
[56:25] It wasn't your holiday, it wasn't a holiday, it wasn't your birthday.
[56:28] Right. People tell me they rarely, if ever have received a letter like that, and that's because nobody's writing them. So while it might may sound like kind of a easy, not a big deal thing, it really, really is a big deal.
[56:44] And every single one of us has the ability to, you know, to make ourselves and somebody else feel better.
[56:51] So why don't we do it?
[56:54] Tara Bansal: And that's my question.
[56:55] Tracey Gates: Why don't we do it is to remind people, listen, you have this power. So let me help you unleash it.
[57:03] Tara Bansal: Yeah.
[57:04] Tracey Gates: So have you written a letter? Either of you ever written letters like this?
[57:08] Tara Bansal: I've done it to my immediate family, like my husband and my kids. Just like, not for a birthday or not, you know, for Valentine's Day or whatever. Just so. I have done that.
[57:25] Christina Donovan: I have not, but I am very inspired by your book and the message in it.
[57:34] Tracey Gates: Well, I hope that you will try it, and I'd love to hear how it felt for you.
[57:40] You know, again, it's just. It's just a new. You know, I guess what I offer is a new way to go about how you approach your day. You know, it's not.
[57:47] You don't need a special degree. This doesn't need to take a lot of time. It's just this new way of. As. As you. As you said, Tara, of. Of I noticed.
[57:59] Oh, I just. I'm starting to just pay a little more attention. And you realize there are so many things to appreciate about people in this world and you know, your choices to just go down the rabbit hole of negativity or to be on the lookout for things that raise you up.
[58:16] Tara Bansal: Yeah, we are. Over time, I think, but so appreciate your time.
[58:25] Christina Donovan: Any.
[58:26] Tara Bansal: Any last comments around middlesence and this journey or words of advice? You are in it.
[58:37] Tracey Gates: Well, I would say just trust yourself and love yourself because if you're, if you're feeling maybe a little, a little stuck in your middle essence, that's okay. You know, cut yourself some slack and know that you are spectacular and you're, you know, you're spectacular as you are right now.
[58:57] But there is still so much that can evolve and trust that, you know, you have many more chapters to write.
[59:06] Tara Bansal: Thank you. That was beautiful.
[59:09] Christina Donovan: Yeah, great advice.
[59:11] Tara Bansal: Anything else?
[59:13] Tracey Gates: Yeah, just thank you for having me and I hope you'll all go out and share a few more words.
[59:20] Tara Bansal: Me too.
[59:21] We will include a link to her book and Tracy's website on our show Notes. And I do think it's a book everybody should read. And I am going to start.
[59:34] Tracey Gates: Especially right now.
[59:35] Tara Bansal: Yeah, especially right now. And I am going to experiment with this and try it. And I am too. Yeah.
[59:42] Tracey Gates: So thank you.
[59:43] Tara Bansal: Thank you for inspiring.
[59:45] Christina Donovan: Thank you, Tracy.
[59:46] Tracey Gates: Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you.
[59:48] Tara Bansal: Today's recommendation is for one of my very favorite desserts. It is a chocolate mousse recipe from William Sonoma's the Kids Cookbook.
[01:00:00] It is very simple. It only has two ingredients. I use a bag of semisweet chocolate chips and then two cups or a pint of heavy cream. It serves eight. It only takes about 10 to 15 minutes.
[01:00:17] I'll try to quickly give a description of how to do it. First you fill a small saucepan, about half fill with water and then you want to have a heat proof bowl that fits snugly into that pan.
[01:00:38] Get the water to a simmer and then add the chocolate chips and just stir them until they are all melted.
[01:00:48] Then take the melted chocolate off the heat and in a large bowl you're going to pour the whipping cream or the heavy cream in and start whipping it until it's slightly thickened, about 30 seconds or a minute.
[01:01:05] And then I pour the chocolate in and continue whipping it until on about medium speed, scraping down the sides until soft peaks begin to form.
[01:01:16] And I do it until it looks moussey. It's very quick, very easy. I think it is absolutely delicious. You can put it into individual serving cups or glasses. I actually just put it into an 8 by 8 glass pan and cover it.
[01:01:37] Put it in the fridge for a couple hours and you are good to go. So this is something you can make ahead and I hope you give it a try and like it as much as I do.
[01:01:46] Have a great day.
[01:01:48] Christina Donovan: For show notes and other information about our podcast, please Visit our website. Messymiddlescence.com if you enjoyed listening, please help spread the word about our podcast by sending a link to a family member or friend.
[01:02:03] And don't forget to leave a positive rating or review for us. As always, we hope you will
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Tracey Willis Gates website
The book, The Power of A Few Kind Words: Create a More Meaningful Life, One Letter at a Time
The Five Love Languages® by Dr. Gary Chapman
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Chocolate Mousse Recipe
From Williams-Sonoma The Kid's Cookbook, by Abigail Johnson Dodge
Here is a favorite recipe of Tara’s. It is very easy and SUPER yummy.
https://www.williams-sonoma.com/recipe/easy-chocolate-mousse.html
Ingredients:
1.25 cups (or 12 oz bag) of semisweet chocolate chips, or 8 -12 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
2 cups heavy cream, well chilled
Directions:
Fill a small saucepan half full with water. Choose a small, deep heatproof bowl that fits snugly on the saucepan. Be sure the bottom of the bowl does not touch the water. Add the chocolate to the small bowl and set the water-filled pan and bowl over medium heat.
Heat the chocolate, stirring often with a wooden spoon, until it is melted, about 5 minutes. During that time, the water should simmer, not boil. Adjust the heat up or down as needed.
Turn off the heat. Ask an adult to remove the bowl from the saucepan of water. Set the bowl aside to cool slightly.
Pour the cream into a large bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat the cream on medium speed until slightly thickened, about 30 seconds. Add the warm chocolate to the cream. Continue beating on medium speed, scraping down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula, until soft peaks form, about 1 minute. To test, turn off the mixer and lift the beaters. If the cream makes soft little peaks that flop over slightly, it is ready.
Spoon the mousse into serving cups or glasses.[Tara puts in a 8x8 glass pan]. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours before serving.
Serves 8.
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Tracey Willis Gates is a kindness ambassador, a wellness coach, and the author of The Power of A Few Kind Words: Create a More Meaningful Life One Letter at a Time.
She was featured in Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper and Nice News. She is a frequent speaker and has presented her workshop, “A Few Kind Words, The Power of Writing Unexpected Letters of Appreciation,” to audiences across the country including private gatherings, businesses, schools, and non-profits.
Tracey is a Kindness Coach for the skin care company Beekman 1802 who’s tagline is “There is beauty in kindness.”
Her family, friends, pets, chai latte, and gardening are her delights. Tracey lives in Pennington, New Jersey.